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Closed
for the Day
I
wake up it's 3:00 a.m. you're on the telephone again
This
time I'm lying next to you where you should've been
When
you finally come to bed I feel like she's still in your head
Your
truthful lies help me realize this is the end
I
know that I'm watching you slowly slip out of my space
Admitting
that this might be something I should embrace
The
way that my body dismantles itself when you're near
Makes
my thoughts and emotions very unclear
And
I know I wasn't always the first thing on your mind,
And
I know sometimes my heart was closed for the day and sometimes the night
And
our paths took different directions and ended the road we were on
But
our numbered days gave love the right of way and I know it's not wrong
I'm
sitting inside of myself and it's silent again,
Except
for the way that you somehow crawl into my head
I'm
struggling with all the days that became the end,
Knowing
that this turned to something I couldn't mend
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Beautiful
Again
Why
do I let you take me down this road of blame
I
already know it will be my fault again
Why
do I always feel like my spirt has grown gray and there's no room to mend
I
fall deeper in this hole, leave my love nowhere to grow
I
will find myself in me, somewhere in between
It
took some time to make myself beautiful again, I'm beautiful again
I
left you once and I took you back twice
Completely
embraced you without a question in my mind
You
had me believe I was the only one you'd need and I would make you happy
Please
don't call me, please don't tell me on certain days that you can't
breathe without me
You
gotta move on, I gotta be strong, together we're all wrong
I
got everything I need, everything in me
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Abilene
I'd
say by the time you left me I sank below the water line
It
took me some time to empty all that you left behind
Some
days would pass me by, others would show your lies
But
I'm starting to understand, anger won't let you bend
Abilene,
Abilene, I am here, just come to me
Abilene,
Abilene, love is stronger than you think
Just
be free, Abilene
Somehow
I figured out what this fire was all about
I
finally understand, forgiveness will help you land
Abilene,
Abilene, I'm not angry can't you see
Abilene,
Abilene, I am here, just come to me
Just
be free, Abilene
This
bridge is burned but I will cross
There's
no more patterns left to draw
Everybody
takes a fall, just don't let it make you crawl
Abilene,
Abilene, there is nothing to redeem
Abilene,
Abilene, try to live your life in peace
Abilene,
Abilene, I am here, just come to me
Abilene,
Abilene, love is stronger than you think
Abilene,
Abilene, I am here, just come to me
Just
be free, Abilene
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1000
Apologies
1000
apologies won't change the past for me
But
I understand, you're showing your love for me
Disappointment
was all that I felt when I really needed your help
Hoping
you'd find some time to escape from yourself
1000
apologies has made you a refugee to the thoughts in your head
That
will never let you regret
I
have heard all your words. All I need is you
1000
apologies is so bittersweet for me
It's
something I've needed to hear, but not 'cause you're filled with grief
1000
apologies I've accepted without a plea
I
need you to look at yourself and try to see what I can see
I
have heard all your words, all I need is you
To
know I am here with all my love, I won't leave you alone
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Mudpies
Another
summer has come and gone, another winter hits the ground
One
more deam with you without a sound
Another
day of madness, another night of your absence
One
more minute with you, is all that I'm asking
I'll
make it till the morning comes, I'll see you soon, in the face of
the sun
The
only thing I know I can do to help me untangle the days that are blue
Is
write another song about you
Another
soul has joined you, another birth without you
And
the sound of your laughter is long overdue
Another
piece on my plate, another test of my faith
One
more word of advice would help lift the weight
All
these things I feel, in all these parts of me
You'd
think 10 years would heal what's breaking me
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The
Best Thing
I
think this time I fell back a little further back than I wanted to
I
laid it all on the table, so you decide what we should do
You
said you needed space,
To
make everything a little more clear for you
So
I said I'd walk away, miles away from you,
That
was such a hard thing to do
So
now I tell myself, that you think of me when I'm not around
So
now I tell myself, that you still want me when you're feeling down
So
now I tell myself, I was the best thing you ever had
But
my body's not as warm as it used to be
I
had to find a way, to occupy the time that was spent with you
I
had to get out of myself, to look at this with a wider view
I'm
feeling better now, and everything is so clear to me
I'm
glad I walked away, but you know you'll always be
The
first real love for me.
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Favorite
Color
I
have to be honest, I haven't felt this way in a long time.
And
just when I thought I was falling, your beautiful eyes caught mine.
I
don't know much about your life, like what's your favorite color,
But
I can tell you what's on my mind.
No
one melts my heart, like you do.
And
no one has my thoughts, as much as you.
And
I think you belong, where it's safe and warm,
Right
here in my arms.
I'm
not a very good liar, tried not to tell you for a while.
But
I'm the one who sent you flowers, just so I could see you smile.
I
promise I won't give you more than one drawer for your clothes.
I
promise I won't tell you I love you at least for a week or more.
I
promise I won't call you other than ten times a day.
I
promise I won't buy you the biggest diamond ring.
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Hit
The
Ground
I
feel a little bit restless sometimes, when your anger is your state
of mind
Do
you know how profound it can be
When
the course of your day is taken out on me
I
know you think you're alone
Why
do I feel like I let your heart hit the ground
Some
days it just got so heavy, I had no choice but to just set it down
I
tried not to give up, even when you would speak without sound
(I
never gave up, even when you would scream without sound)
(1st
time) I hope that you know, it was never my intention to let your
heart hit the ground
(2nd
time) I need you to know, when you turned away, that's when my heart
hit the ground
I
never thought that we'd end up this way
Years
of our friendship turned red and then gray
I
always thought we were stronger than this
But
you look right through me like I don't exist
Open
your eyes, it's just me
You
walked away, so easily, no conversation
You
see what you see, you're never sorry
You're
never wrong, believing the silence is what makes you strong
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Middle
Of It All
I
remember someone told me I would love again
And
that I would know when it's alright to let it in
But
I held my heart behind this wall of fear within
And
I found myself hiding inside my own skin
Since
I have met you I have found a way to feel things that have always
made me walk away
In
the middle of it all, I felt the rain run dry
I
can love you after all, in the middle of it all
In
the middle of it all, I found the perfect life
I
felt myself stand tall, in the middle of it all
I'd
forgotten what it's like to have a comfort zone
Breathing
in and out and standing on my own
The
path of least resistance kept its hand on me
Pulling
me through corridors that left me free
There
is nothing else to leave behind, I'm standing here with space enough
for two this time
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Hand
To The Plow
Who
am I not to exercise my right to vote
All
these years I've been silent, cutting my own throat
I
never knew what you had to lose to get our voices heard
I
know now, show me how, for what it's worth
Put
your hand to the plow, finish the row
It's
okay to be proud, come rain or snow
Put
your hand to the plow
Politics
and rhetoric are so ambiguous
Ignorance
is no excuse for ignorance
I
didn't know that I chose to close my mind to this
I
let time pass, but time won't last for any wish
No
one should have to die In a fight that should not be fought
I
will vote 'cause it's my right as a woman who once could not
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Shape
It's In
I
saw your smile take shape when she walked in the room
All
of the colors in me turned to blue
I
saw you kiss her hello, you were like a flower in bloom
And
I became lost inside this room
Don't
know why I'm afraid. Did you love me like that anyway?
Don't
know why I'm so sad, but I feel like you're slipping away
And
if you break it, you gotta buy it, and not leave it for somebody
else to clean up
But
if you buy it and then break it, you can't return it in the shape
it's in
You
gotta put it back together so it's ready to be weathered again
She
walked into your life and ran into your heart
You
said that you'd never let me fall that hard
I
feel like I've loved with frustration as I watch you give into temptation
You
had me believe I could let down my guard
I'm
not longer afraid, you never loved me like that anyway
I
think I know why I'm so sad, I misread the signs along the way
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We
All Fall Down
It
seems to me everybody's got their own agenda, there's always three
sides to a story that's never ending
Trust
and truth are things that aren't forgiven. I worked so hard
and didn't get what I expected
I've
been here before, everybody always wants more
You
said that she said I'd break your heart
She
said that you said I'd fall apart
This
circle that binds us goes round and round
Sooner
or later we all fall down
Day
by day everybody changes places, you fall in love running from isolation
Leaving
me here is what you call a new perspective, you can't sit still
until you find a new direction
You've
been here before, but you still want more
You'll
never learn, you'll never love, you always pick up where you left off
You'll
never know what it feels like to settle down and make things right
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The
Devil's
Son
Your
body aches, too much poison. You start to break with no way to
hold on
You
fall in silence from the undertow, you hit the bottom all alone
The
Devil's son makes his rounds, he shows you love on this battle ground
You
took his hand, closed your eyes, he said I'll help you land, just
live my lies
It's
so wrong to live this way, to let your flesh and blood see you fade away
Your
words are lies to the ones you love, you can't hide what you've become
I
wish you could see how fragile you've become
And
you will lose it all if you're friends with the Devil's son
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Heavier
Than Lead
I called, I
waited, I'm sinking in the world I created
My heart is on
life support. I did this to myself, I know, I know
I couldn't tell
before, but your eyes are the ones, I know I'm sure
I'm sorry for the
things I did, I just need the chance to make it right again
So let me love you
and I will bring you all of me this time
No more selfish
strands of mine
So feel my hand,
let your soul land,
Believe me when I
say I am here to stay
I fell like I'm in
a panic, you're my drug and I'm your addict
And I'm sure
lately everything I've said is heaver than lead
Right now it's a
little too dark around me,
I don't wanna be
the rain that makes you run away
I won't come to
you with the sun inside me
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Dancing
With Angels
So many days go
by, and my heart still cries.
So many hours I
spend, needing your arms again.
And I know as I
grow old, I'll be standing next to you soon.
But might I be so
bold, as to believe, she could be you.
And I know you're
dancing with angels, where everything is pure
She's got the same
glow around her, that you possessed on earth.
And when she looks
at her baby girl, I see you in her.
I haven't been
this scared, since I was 6 years old.
I've learned to
subside my fears, with arms I pretend are yours.
And I know as I
grow strong, I'll be learning that I did not lose.
And would it be so
wrong, as to believe, this face could be you.
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One
Good Reason
Life is good now
better than before, so don't come knocking at my door.
You had your
chance at loving me, you opened my eyes now I can see.
Time and time
again you pushed me too far, taking love for granted
Hey, hey, hey,
give me one, good reason why I should take you back.
Give me one, good
reason to love again.
Give me one, good
reason why I should even care.
Give me one, good
reason if you can.
Maybe someday I
will find a man, who will love me as I am
Oh I got tired of
being stepped on, now it's my turn to do the waking, ya
The tears I cried
before, oh they don't fall no more,
You have the nerve
to ask me
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Train
There's a humming
inside of my head that's driving me crazy.
The wind's blowing
hard and the rain is falling like rocks.
And I'm driving
2000 miles to see you and I know it's been awhile but I need you.
You've been
sleeping so much that your eyes don't look like my father's.
And you're making
yourself look much older than what you are.
And you're leaving
all of these things behind you and I'M m here
To strengthen the
faith inside you.
And the train, is
coming my way, it has brakes, but I'm not afraid.
You must face your
guilt, forgive yourself, hold on to your will,
Hold on to your will.
I will take you
down to the ocean, so you can make peace.
And the wind is
now calm and the rain is stuck in the clouds.
And we'll pray,
for the innocent ones and know that all of the
Angels will come.
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My
Peace
I feel bitter
sometimes, but I don't know who to blame
When this darkness
inside, turns into rage
It's like dirt on
my hands, that I cannot wash off
And right here
where I stand, is why I am lost
But I'm the one
who would offer up my soul if I could find it
And I'd gladly
lend you my eyes if I thought I could see.
But I seem to be
having trouble finding the strength inside of me.
I pray for peace
inside myself, I promise me I won't back down.
I need this peace
inside myself so that I can see beyond this hell.
There is more to
my life, than I will ever show
And there's more
to this story that will never be told.
But I think that
it's time, to show me who I am
And stop hiding
behind, this face of a man.
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Between
You and Me
Well you stumbled
in at three o'clock in the morning.
I don't know why
but I waited up again.
Then you started a
fight for no apparent reason,
But it ended real
quick cause you couldn't even stand.
Well I tried to
help you with your boots but you wouldn't let me.
You said I'm a
grown man I can do it on my own.
So I went to bed
and got up the next morning,
You had one boot
off and your face flat on the floor.
When did the
bottle get between you and me?
When you wake up,
don't you look for sympathy.
When did the
bottle get between you and me,
When did the
bottle get between?
Now if I strolled
in at three o'clock in the morning.
With an attitude
that'd fly you cross the room.
You'd be so mad
doing back flips on the front lawn,
But you'd finally
come to see what you put me through.
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Tomorrow's
Day
Well the night is
almost half way gone,
And my eyes they
haven't closed at all.
And somewhere out
there I don't know how to choose,
When nothing
enters my mind more than you.
Those fragile
thoughts they're not that far away
They say they
haven't seen you for a while.
You picked a funny
night to fly away, cause the winds
You chose are
waiting for tomorrow's day.
So close your
eyes, and get some sleep,
Cause tomorrow you
can't be weak.
This fear you have
will put you out of reach.
And this part of
love, is not that far,
From the piece you
think you are,
And you don't have
to hide your eyes,
From the dark.
The morning light
hits the windowpane,
And you're lying
next to me where I should have been.
Solitude is this
enemy I've known,
And last night I
think I won the war on my own.
Time's the only
thing that's on my side,
Cause my heart and
soul have already made up my mind.
I guess my comfort
zone has seen the last of me
And as I walk on
through, I'll wave goodbye to used to be.
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Help
I've Fallen
I fell in love
once not something that I'm willing to do twice, cause it don't
Feel nice, when
the one you love can put your heart in a blender, forget
He turned it on
until it's too late to remember.
No I'm not gonna
fall in love again, it's not my thing my skins too thin,
And I can never
win, but if you wanna hold me close I'll let you stay for
A minute, I like
the way you feel but don't expect me to admit it.
Help I've fallen
in love, and I get up, help I've fallen in love, and I
Can't get up, help
I've fallen, fallen, fallen, and I can't get, enough
When the moon
lights up your eyes, I'll pretend you're telling lies,
And when you're
everything I need oh boy you'll never hear me scream
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Further
I Get
I sat down in
front of my mirror, practicing what I would say.
I felt a little
sick from the fear, but I tried to form the words anyway.
Then I sat down to
write you a letter, but nothing would come to my
Head, except all
of the things that are better left unsaid.
And the further I
get from you, the further my arms want
To reach.
But the further I
get from you, the closer
I get to me.
You tell me you're
not doing so well. That man you love is not who he
Used to be.
You tell me that
you don't want my help, maybe it's cause you know
What I will see.
Oh but I think
that I have finally realized. That whatever I say will
Never change your mind.
And it would do
more harm to say what's in my heart this time.
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Keeper
Of It All
You can wave your
hands in front of my face and act like you own the world.
And you can shake
your shamako all over the place
And think you're a
woman when you're just a girl.
You can call me
any name that comes to your mind,
And even talk
behind my back.
You can love this
man that used to be mine
And think you'll
get more than what i had.
Oh I am the keeper
of it all,
I guarantee that
you will be the one who will fall.
Oh I am the keeper
of it all, it ain't my fault you learned
To walk before you crawled.
You can play this
game of house as long as you want
And wonder 'bout
what you might get.
But honey let me
tell you something to remember,
He ain't quite
divorced just yet.
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Come
Home
I know I haven't
been the best man I could've been,
I know I've let
you down so many times.
Look what our
lives have become, pages of things undone,
i promise
I'll make it all up to you soon.
And this life that
we share is not over just yet.
And this love That
we have is holding on by a thread,
Forgive me,
forgive me
I know that we're
better than this.
When your heart
ain't so angry, you can come home
When your love
ain't so restless, you can come home.
I know you will
see me, and you will be home.
I have been able
to find, some sort of peace in my mind.
I need you to open
your heart to me.
I know it's hard
to believe, I know you'd rather wait and see,
But I love you
more now than I ever have.
My arms are not
reaching that far anymore, I need you to
Meet me in the
middle of this war, I'll hold you I promise you will
Be safe from now on.
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Beneath
It All
I'm right here,
I'm not going anywhere, and won't let them take
You, so don't be scared.
We have rebuilt, a
wounded past, and I'm not gonna lose you,
To the ignorance
at hand.
And your worried
face, stays in my head, as I go to sleep.
And beneath it
all, I know you're there, buried somewhere deep.
But you are still
my father.
I'm learning to
feel, your frustrated heart.
I'm trying to pave
the way, so you don't fall apart.
And I will not
run, and i won't give up, like you have asked me to.
I'll see you
change, and you'll soon be free to feel the sun on you.
But I am still
your daughter.
And I don't need
an explanation, I just need you here with me.
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My
Love Is Divine
I guess I should
go out today and try to fill this empty space
That's been vacant
for so long.
I feel your spirit
in this room, as thoughts of you start to bloom,
And I know that
it's wrong.
Why does it even
matter, cause I feel guilty as it is.
You don't know
what you do to me, sometimes you're my enemy,
That shuts down
all my will.
I'm hoping you
won't walk away, when you hear what I have to say,
Cause they're
pretty big shoes to fill.
And I'll wait for
you, till my heart stops it's beat.
And I'll wait for
you, till I'm all that you see.
And I will love
you, oh I will love you,
My love, my love
is divine.
I made a promise
to myself, to put my feelings on the shelf,
But the space
that's left's too small.
What's going on is
way too big, an overwhelming fear of sin,
And you should not know.
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Can't
Love You
I know where, you
were last night and I know why,
You been wanting
to fight
I thought for
sure, you would be by my side
I guess I was
wrong, didn't
Think you could be
so unkind.
I still love you
more than you know
Everyday I try to
let go
I forgot what it
was like to be,
So all alone that
your mind is not free,
Knowing I gave
every part of me.
I can't love you
anymore, I can't love you anymore,
I can't love you
anymore than this, no, no
I can't love you
anymore, I can't love you anymore,
I can't love you
anymore than this
I thought that I,
could handle this thing
But lately I feel
more than just pain.
I must demand,
some kind of respect,
I will make sure,
you have nothing left.
If I had the will
to let myself see things the way you do
I'd ask you to
live with me, and I'd love you
If I had the
voice, to speak as freely as I wanted to
I'd ask you to
marry me, and I'd love you
If I had the
courage, to not be so worried, what they'd do
I'd hold your
hand, and I'd love you
Your beautiful
light surrounds me all day
Sometimes I'm free
till I scare myself away
I'm sorry I can't
be as strong as you are
Maybe I'm too old
to fall this far
If I had the
power, to make the future what I want it to be
I'd grow old with
you, and you'd love me
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Hide
So I wrap myself
around your head
I won't let your
heart hang on the edge
So you feel as
though you must behave
Cuz your mama said
you're not supposed to be this way, la da da da
I saw you glow
when you looked at the moon
Let's say we live
there, just me and you
I feel the weight
of your troubled soul
I will lend you
mine, so yours will turn to gold, la da da da
Here is the life
you wanted, here is the one who loves you
Why must we hide
the one thing, that's really real
That's really love
So I watched you
crawl into my heart
There you stay
past the day, into the dark
When i lay myself
down to sleep
I desire your body
breathing next to me, la da da da
I will be free
with the one I hold
We will live in
strength, and will not fold
I know my heart is
full of love
And I will not
allow this world to judge, la da da da
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South
Indiana
I have held your
hand for so long.
Now it's time to
let you go.
I can see in your
eyes that you're strong,
So go on, go on,
go on.
You have packed
the house where I died.
And I felt your
pain with each sigh.
Try to see the
walls as they are.
I'm not there, I'm
right here in your heart.
And now my weary eyes,
Can rest upon the light,
I know you're
safe, I know you're fine.
As you look at
this house from a far,
And your keys have
changed all their doors
Just remind
yourself when you can,
That you belong
right where you stand.
And now my spirit cries,
To go where peace
is mine.
I've just begun to
find the sky.
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